Meng Qing

My mother's family was in the military, and my father was from Mount Wutai, a Buddhist holy place in China. I grew up with my mom describing her family as part of the Korean and Vietnam wars, stationed in Tibet, or serving as diplomatic soldiers in the cause of peace in Nepal and India. I chose to enlist in the army in 2018. Growing up, I often played hide-and-seek alone, which I believe formed my dissociative personality. Feeling like an outsider within a social group became a hindrance. 

After giving up my soldier status, I chose to live in a nomadic way and shed my identity. Religion became important as I tried to forget my past. For the following two years I engaged with psychoanalysis to explore my experiences. Using self as method, self as both subject and object, I investigated the relationship between personal identity and sociopolitical and cultural identity. I examined how identities are formed and understood. 

I think that in every human subject there is a role that is not disciplined by culture and society. I want to try to experience such a state and reshape the past identity memory. During this period, I try to change clothes, change character, sexual characteristics, avoid past memory, and live in a new country as a genderless person. I was seeking other state of consciousness. (Note: The way to change your character, according to Buddhism, is when you think about it and feel it, you don’t follow it. And I try to do the opposite. When I feel it, I follow my heart.)

What happens when memory becomes part of the invisible? When I tried to forget, the past existed in my unconscious as a "file" and became my natural impulse. The behaviours of "them” all point to myself. As a real archival installation, this work presents the behaviour and notes of this character who tries to forget the narrative.

The first performance was successfully botched at the Dyson building, mostly due to technical issues and us not rehearsing. I am very sensitive to the audience's awareness, and I realised that as I have received different feedback, the performance art is happening, so I began to explore the combination of sound and happenings, using the method of relational aesthetics by French art critic Nicolas Bourriaud, after several collaborative performances, through which I wrote this prose and research essay .

Participating cooperative artists include John Cheung, QingShan Zhang, Meech, Juni Ham, Yiping Xia, ülkü caglayan, Arjuna Keshvani(India-British)，Myungmin Liu(South Korea)，Lila Loisse(Belgium ), Lu(Singapore ).

In the context of successive collective narratives and colonization, the exhibition contemplates the history and present of the traumas of different nations. How the collective and the individual are oppressed by different imperial narratives. The displacement of individuals, or the revolutionary events we have encountered, how the lack of culture caused by it affects a family, or even a nation. The changing dynamics of family relationships in Asian cultures and the distress of children as they accept harsh love from their loved ones. How will they cope with the undue stress and care from their loved ones?

Through video works and interviews with artists that I filmed and participated in, we will discuss "trauma awareness" and try to question whether trauma awareness is a necessary part of the individual in the collective narrative environment. After having such memories, our Whether behavior has changed subtly. More importantly, how should individuals deal with trauma? Echoing the title of this exhibition, despite the snow outside, cultural conflicts have caused collisions and incomprehension, lost language, or emotional convergence. Did it turn into a source of pain in the end? Four artists from different countries and political contexts will jointly complete this exhibition and give their answers to the questions in the interviews.

Cooperation artists: Arjuna Keshvani(India-British)，Myungmin Liu(South Korea)，Lila Loisse(Belgium), Lu(Singapore)

Research writing starts from my perception of life, they are usually critical and try to find new possible solutions. For creative writing I focus on perceptions, which tend to be subtle and profound.