Yutian Zhu

For nearly a year, my hair has been falling out a lot every time I wash it, which may be related to the change in water quality or the damage caused by perm. Losing my hair makes me feel like I'm constantly changing. Hair is a part of me, although it is not flesh and blood, and it can't makes me pain, when I see this hair fall off it is likely to see my old self is falling off. As our bodies metabolize, old cells die and new cells grow. Because of this, our hair is regularly renewed. From this point of view, the past self is constantly dying, and in every second, the self is new.

Sometimes I recall things in the past and look at the words written by myself in the past, but I can't feel the mood at that time like a third party, or even can't understand myself at that moment. It leaves me wondering, does the past exist? Does time exist? Am I "me"?

So I spent the past few months collecting the hair that fell out and putting the hair in different scenarios based on a few things I remembered. I let my hair represent myself, to restore the various states of my past self. I try to use this way to take "portraits" of the past self. I don't know if it is meaningful, but when shooting this series of works, I feel like I have found a connection with the past. Those selves who have been forgotten seem to emit residual heat in my body.

The human body is an organism, constantly carrying out metabolic activities at all times. Old cells die, and new cells grow, from this perspective, the old self is constantly dying, every minute, the self is new. The loss of hair is the expression of metabolism, and the loss of hair is just like the loss of the old self. I collected the hair that fell over several months and placed it in various scenes to modify myself in various states in the past. The past self seemed to exist but also not exist, seemed to be me also not me. And these "portraits" composed of hair may be the proof of my existence.